Unruly preschoolers

Mom speaks: Well I had my first official story time as a candidate to become a Children's librarian yesterday. I've done story time before but this time I am trying out to see if I really want to be a children's librarian and not a teen librarian. Yesterday was rather challenging as I had about 35 people crammed into a very small room. The first two stories went alright but by the third the natives were restless and wandering, like trying to herd cats*. Maybe the Hokey Pokey wound them up or everyone gave their child a Red Bull before coming in...I don't know. Two kids were crying, one was screaming and one enterprising young lady found wrist bells and was shaking them behind me as I was trying to read Wombat Walkabout. This is the same girl who tried to sit in my seat twice the minute I stood up to turn on the Hokey Pokey. So I just said "I give up, let's dance some more to Shimmy Shake." This was greeted by cheers all around. I have a very high tolerance for children screaming and wandering around. I mean I deal with teens. So it doesn't really phase me, but I want to know if parents ever discipline their children. My mom would have pulled me out of there so fast if I was taking the story lady's chair and shaking her bells while she was trying to read.

* Lily's note: Cat herding is possible if you want to drive them toward tuna or perhaps delicious chicken.

Pre summer nutiness

Mom reports: The library was horribly busy yesterday due to the Memorial Day holiday. How dare the library close for one day! People paid fines in droves, children ran everywhere. At 8 p.m. it still looked like 5 p.m. and 10 people were on the list for the computer. A lady tried to print her documents, did something to the printer to make it say "ykiexit" and then was mad because she lost $2.50 and logged off, because her term paper was due TOMORROW! Did I tell you to wait until the last minute.....um, no.

Library strangeness

Mom told me this story: Yesterday there were two teen girls blocking the entire magazine section. They were constucting something out of wood, paper and what appeared to be those pool noodles. It had a helium balloon attached to one side. At one point a hammer and a screw driver were used. The pair also had a hot glue gun and were frantically gluing when mom told them the library would be closing. It had been busy and no one had complained about the girls so she had just left them alone, but told them to please not hammer so loudly in the library. As she drove away, Mom noticed the two girls outside the library still constructing whatever it was. She never figured out why the girls thought it would be best to construct a big five foot tall whatever at the library. Couldn't it have been done at someone's house. The girls just gave non-commital answers to these questions and apologized for doing this in the library.

Mom speaks: Preschoolers

I did story time today for the preschoolers and they wore me out. Of course I did pick the energetic songs like Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. I did frog books and they really liked the book called Fribbity Ribbit! I love story time!

Summer is coming

It's already hot and I have too much fur. At the library this will mean a thousand people will flock in each day. Over half of them will want to use the computer and half of those will not even know how to work a mouse. The librarians won't have time to teach them because they will be busy entertaining the children and listening to people tell fiction stories of why, once again, they were late with their DVDs and how they pay their taxes and the librarians salaries so should not have to pay any fines ever. Children will throw fits. People will complain because they couldn't get into a program because they couldn't find a parking spot. More words will be said about how library users pay taxes. A busload of kids wearing identical t-shirts will come in with two adults and tear the place apart. Spinning book racks will fling books. Pages will be ripped out of easy books. Comics will disappear in seconds. The feeding frenzy is over. The library closes. The librarians drink until they pass out at home.

Wetness falling from sky

What is this? Could it be rain? My sister Maggie and I are very sleepy from this rain. Mom says it's good for the grass. I wouldn't know about that since Mom never lets me go outside because I like to climb the fence and sit on the top mocking her. She can't figure out how I do that without any front claws but, duh, I have powerful legs and can leap REALLY high in the air. How does she think I get all those flies. I am still a little peeved because Mom and Dad held us down last night to put anti-flea stuff on us. We HATE that and no amount of hissing, spitting or growling deters them.

Mom speaks: Twilight Movie

Cats are so lucky. They don't have to watch excruciatingly bad movies whilst tweens parrot the dialog EXACTLY and squeal every time the lead hunk appears. Actually the tweeny dialong and squeals didn't bother me as much as the movie itself. Now sure I diss Twilight and its spawn pretty much every chance I get but I had NO idea a movie, which closely follows the book, could ever be this horrid. I mean, I've seen porn with better acting in it.

Now all the acting wasn't terrible, but much of it led the viewer into wondering why in the hell Bella and Edward would have fallen in love in the first place. He's repulsed, he's secretly attracted, he angsts, runs away, comes back and makes cryptic statements and then she makes statements that don't make sense. It's all doom and depression and saying don't be around me and then you're around all the time so I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ?!!!! Right. I thought love was about joy and lightness. Okay there's some brooding but mostly when the guy you like doesn't like you not says "I have to stay away from you" and then practically stalks you he's there so much.

And Carlisle the handsome, dashing doctor....yeah if he's a corpse. They did such a horrible job on him he's paler than an alien being with the large eyes. Like no one can tell there's something fishy with this guy?! Buy some bronzer Carlisle and join your fake family at slightly looking just un-tanned.

In the book when those vampires hit the sun they are all ethereal and glow nicely. In the movie Edward just looks like he's got a horrible skin condition. Not very attractive or sexy. Edward also has stupid hair.

Okay and really I am more of a "Team Jacob" person anyway but Jacob in this movie blends in with all the other generic Native Americans with exactly the same hair. Too stereotypical. All they needed was feathers woven in their hair to say "hey look at me I'm a native american see here's my feathers and long straight hair to prove it." Jacob in the book seems more modern to me. He wouldn't have hair from a bad 1950s western, he'd have long-ish hair but not down to his butt. More like shoulder length or something.

In fact, the police chief father Charlie was stereotypical too. He didn't really act or look like a police chief except for the cheesy 70s mustache he was sportin'. Cliche city baby.

Don't even get me started on Rosalie and Jasper. They don't blend(well none of the "teen" vampires blend) at school. They look like 30 year old yuppies who should be playing tennis at the club.

The only actor worth anything in this mess was Alice and James. They were the most realistic characters.